Ever wish you had a crystal ball that shows you the real personality of the boss before you say yes to an employer? People are often very adept at making good first impressions and even maintaining those impressions for quite a while. There are several reasons for this dynamic. I have wondered for many years how one could possibly grow up in today’s world without developing a good dose of ego. Think about how many commercials you see that put image first. How many times have you heard people say, “Perception is everything”. William Shakespeare once said, “All the world is but a stage and we are but its players”. We could draw the conclusion that everyone we meet is putting on an act. That is a totally cynical thought but it sure seems to be the case some days.
In addition to learning to play a role, people have been traumatized by life experiences. We know that parents are not always supportive of kids as they grow. Simple things like disapproving looks and cutting remarks do a good deal of damage to little psyches. We all develop defense mechanisms in response to life’s traumas. Clearly, some people’s defenses are worse than others, but we all have them. Don’t misunderstand me; defenses are necessary in an imperfect world, but they also cause fracturing of relationship depending on the level of severity. Our purpose in this discussion is learning to discern the defenses of bosses who are abusive and destructive.
There is one other major cause behind the creation of bosses you’d hate. This is the organic factor. The organic factor is fairly serious and impossible to correct except by the boss himself/herself. We seem to have an epidemic level of individuals in America suffering from some level of bipolar disorder. In many quarters, it is still known as manic-depressive disorder. This is an inherited condition of the brain that is not the fault of the victim. It is a manageable disorder with excellent treatments available through doctors and therapists. However, the person with the disorder must acknowledge its existence and pursue the treatment. People with this condition are often high functioning individuals who are in denial about the destructive characteristics of their personal style. Their egos are extreme and they have underlying patterns that are chaotic, sometimes irrational and abusive. They are typically highly intelligent and creative with endless energy. They seem to work themselves into positions of authority to satisfy an unquenchable need to shore up a weak self esteem. Bottom line, they can make any sensible person miserable every day you spend trying to satisfy their perfectionist demands.
Shakespeare also said, “All that glitters is not gold”. In another famous American thought, “If it seems too good to be true, it probably isn’t”. All of the conditions described in the preceding paragraphs have this in common. They look really good at first but do not pass the scratch test. If you scratch the surface of that being presented, the skin is thin and the middle is filled with yellow puss. Look for the grandiose nature of bosses you’d hate. They will seem bigger than life and have all of the answers to their own questions. They may act as though you are a kindred spirit and they have known you forever. They will appear to listen to your answers to their questions but not actually be paying attention. They will be more driven than the average person. Their drive will be goal focused and not people focused and the goals will point back to them and their accomplishments. People are tools no differently than a computer or printer. You will feel discomfort that you cannot explain logically because the person seems reasonable and nice at the moment. You may have a sensation of wanting to stand up and run out of the room. This is tied to a subconscious discerning of their level of anger. In other words, bosses you’d hate will not cause you to feel embraced or welcome. They are lacking genuine warmth. You may think it will take awhile to feel comfortable with this person. Generally, their level of maturity will be lacking no matter how powerful they seem in their posturing.
I am sure there is more to say on this subject. This is an attempt at a general guide. If you experience any of the things described here; be polite, finish the conversation and excuse yourself sooner rather than later. Move on to the next opportunity. You do not need the grief caused by a boss you’d hate. This decision may be hard in today’s economy and the lack of solid job opportunity. In spite of the times, you do not need to invite self imposed pain. We have enough pain dealing with incidental grief on a daily basis. Remember, life is short and there are genuinely nice people in positions of authority. I wish you well in your search for such a boss.
Psychotic Resumes is a Gen-Y (Millennial) job survival guide created by Nick Armstrong to help new professionals build stronger resumes and cover letters so they can find a better job. It's our goal to help Gen-Y do better at interviews and on the job, promoting strong leadership, entrepreneurship, and common sense.
Spotting the Boss You’d Hate
In addition to learning to play a role, people have been traumatized by life experiences. We know that parents are not always supportive of kids as they grow. Simple things like disapproving looks and cutting remarks do a good deal of damage to little psyches. We all develop defense mechanisms in response to life’s traumas. Clearly, some people’s defenses are worse than others, but we all have them. Don’t misunderstand me; defenses are necessary in an imperfect world, but they also cause fracturing of relationship depending on the level of severity. Our purpose in this discussion is learning to discern the defenses of bosses who are abusive and destructive.
There is one other major cause behind the creation of bosses you’d hate. This is the organic factor. The organic factor is fairly serious and impossible to correct except by the boss himself/herself. We seem to have an epidemic level of individuals in America suffering from some level of bipolar disorder. In many quarters, it is still known as manic-depressive disorder. This is an inherited condition of the brain that is not the fault of the victim. It is a manageable disorder with excellent treatments available through doctors and therapists. However, the person with the disorder must acknowledge its existence and pursue the treatment. People with this condition are often high functioning individuals who are in denial about the destructive characteristics of their personal style. Their egos are extreme and they have underlying patterns that are chaotic, sometimes irrational and abusive. They are typically highly intelligent and creative with endless energy. They seem to work themselves into positions of authority to satisfy an unquenchable need to shore up a weak self esteem. Bottom line, they can make any sensible person miserable every day you spend trying to satisfy their perfectionist demands.
Shakespeare also said, “All that glitters is not gold”. In another famous American thought, “If it seems too good to be true, it probably isn’t”. All of the conditions described in the preceding paragraphs have this in common. They look really good at first but do not pass the scratch test. If you scratch the surface of that being presented, the skin is thin and the middle is filled with yellow puss. Look for the grandiose nature of bosses you’d hate. They will seem bigger than life and have all of the answers to their own questions. They may act as though you are a kindred spirit and they have known you forever. They will appear to listen to your answers to their questions but not actually be paying attention. They will be more driven than the average person. Their drive will be goal focused and not people focused and the goals will point back to them and their accomplishments. People are tools no differently than a computer or printer. You will feel discomfort that you cannot explain logically because the person seems reasonable and nice at the moment. You may have a sensation of wanting to stand up and run out of the room. This is tied to a subconscious discerning of their level of anger. In other words, bosses you’d hate will not cause you to feel embraced or welcome. They are lacking genuine warmth. You may think it will take awhile to feel comfortable with this person. Generally, their level of maturity will be lacking no matter how powerful they seem in their posturing.
I am sure there is more to say on this subject. This is an attempt at a general guide. If you experience any of the things described here; be polite, finish the conversation and excuse yourself sooner rather than later. Move on to the next opportunity. You do not need the grief caused by a boss you’d hate. This decision may be hard in today’s economy and the lack of solid job opportunity. In spite of the times, you do not need to invite self imposed pain. We have enough pain dealing with incidental grief on a daily basis. Remember, life is short and there are genuinely nice people in positions of authority. I wish you well in your search for such a boss.