In addition to learning to play a role, people have been traumatized by life experiences. We know that parents are not always supportive of kids as they grow. Simple things like disapproving looks and cutting remarks do a good deal of damage to little psyches. We all develop defense mechanisms in response to life’s traumas. Clearly, some people’s defenses are worse than others, but we all have them. Don’t misunderstand me; defenses are necessary in an imperfect world, but they also cause fracturing of relationship depending on the level of severity. Our purpose in this discussion is learning to discern the defenses of bosses who are abusive and destructive.

There is one other major cause behind the creation of bosses you’d hate. This is the organic factor. The organic factor is fairly serious and impossible to correct except by the boss himself/herself. We seem to have an epidemic level of individuals in America suffering from some level of bipolar disorder. In many quarters, it is still known as manic-depressive disorder. This is an inherited condition of the brain that is not the fault of the victim. It is a manageable disorder with excellent treatments available through doctors and therapists. However, the person with the disorder must acknowledge its existence and pursue the treatment. People with this condition are often high functioning individuals who are in denial about the destructive characteristics of their personal style. Their egos are extreme and they have underlying patterns that are chaotic, sometimes irrational and abusive. They are typically highly intelligent and creative with endless energy. They seem to work themselves into positions of authority to satisfy an unquenchable need to shore up a weak self esteem. Bottom line, they can make any sensible person miserable every day you spend trying to satisfy their perfectionist demands.

Shakespeare also said, “All that glitters is not gold”. In another famous American thought, “If it seems too good to be true, it probably isn’t”. All of the conditions described in the preceding paragraphs have this in common. They look really good at first but do not pass the scratch test. If you scratch the surface of that being presented, the skin is thin and the middle is filled with yellow puss. Look for the grandiose nature of bosses you’d hate. They will seem bigger than life and have all of the answers to their own questions. They may act as though you are a kindred spirit and they have known you forever. They will appear to listen to your answers to their questions but not actually be paying attention. They will be more driven than the average person. Their drive will be goal focused and not people focused and the goals will point back to them and their accomplishments. People are tools no differently than a computer or printer. You will feel discomfort that you cannot explain logically because the person seems reasonable and nice at the moment. You may have a sensation of wanting to stand up and run out of the room. This is tied to a subconscious discerning of their level of anger. In other words, bosses you’d hate will not cause you to feel embraced or welcome. They are lacking genuine warmth. You may think it will take awhile to feel comfortable with this person. Generally, their level of maturity will be lacking no matter how powerful they seem in their posturing.

I am sure there is more to say on this subject. This is an attempt at a general guide. If you experience any of the things described here; be polite, finish the conversation and excuse yourself sooner rather than later. Move on to the next opportunity. You do not need the grief caused by a boss you’d hate. This decision may be hard in today’s economy and the lack of solid job opportunity. In spite of the times, you do not need to invite self imposed pain. We have enough pain dealing with incidental grief on a daily basis. Remember, life is short and there are genuinely nice people in positions of authority. I wish you well in your search for such a boss.

If you’re not prepared, your millennial mind might draw a blank.  Maybe you had questions, maybe you didn’t, maybe you forgot.

Avoiding this situation is simple:

1. Do research before your interview
   Do a Google search.  Find the mission statement, facts about profitability and products, and events the company has held in the last month.  You win if you seem tuned in to the industry, even if you’ve only been tuning for 30 minutes.
2. Have a pad of paper and a pen ready
   Chances are, you aren’t going to remember the question you wanted to ask when it really matters.  Write it down.
3. Listen during the interview
   Demonstrate your great listening skills and land the job – demonstrate you can’t listen or force the interviewer to repeat something they’ve already covered and kiss employment goodbye.

Finally, have a few “backup” questions prepared anyway.  The ideal question demonstrates your interest in the position, makes the interviewer imagine you in that position, or demonstrates your knowledge of the company.  Here are a few samples:

1. What would my average workday look like if I were to start tomorrow?
2. I’d like to prepare myself to take on the position – are there any books or skills I should pick up to help me if I receive an offer?

The best questions will be things you’re interested in knowing.  If you don’t care about the answer, don’t ask the question.  If you honestly have no questions, ask one of the two above and leave it at that.  One final question that may help you:

What are the next steps, do you need anything more, and when should I expect to hear back from you regarding a decision?

Have a better suggestion for interview questions?  Leave a comment and tell me about it!

Many hiring managers are shallow, daft pricks.

For Men, the fashion-based interview killers are:

1. No tie (52% say fire)
2. No jacket (50% say fire)
3. Chinos (50% say fire)
4. Polo shirts (66% say fire)
5. Jeans (82% say fire)
6. T shirts (88% say fire)
7. Leather jackets (70% say fire)

Leather Jackets and T-shirts are reasonable – no one should be so casual unless it’s requested.  But no tie?  No jacket?  Polo shirts?  Please.  The expectations on women are even worse – check out those high %’s!

1. Short skirt (60% say fire)
2. Low necklines (95% say fire)
3. Sports shoes (91% say fire)
4. Dangling jewelery (99% say fire)
5. Bare legs (94% say fire)
6. Big shoulder pads – ala 80’s style – (97% of bosses say big shoulder pads are wrong for interview)

Okay, so Andy had one more figure from the survey which confirms my “daft prick” theory.  “95% of interviewers said orange was an inappropriate colour to wear to an interview, with red (84%) and pink (83%) coming in closely behind orange.”

Pink is many women’s favorite color and, to my knowledge, has never been considered “not businesslike”.  If it’s good enough for the First Lady, it’s good enough for a freakin’ job interview.  Not to mention pink is increasingly promoted as an alternate to white in Men’s fashion.  Red has always been a color associated with confidence, something which is important to demonstrate on an interview.  You’re telling me that 83-84% of you morons would think less of a brilliant prospective employee for wearing pink or red?  Moreover, if a woman shows bare leg, as opposed to wearing tights, 94% of you would turn her away?

Time the hell out, you spoiled, soft-brained, suspender-wearing morons.

Are you really so shallow that the best loser wearing the “perfect suit and tie” will get a job over a more qualified, better suited, better matched, but less fashionable prospective?  This is why our economy SUCKS.  This is why only 20% of 2009’s graduating class got jobs after applying.  This is why 71% of those under 30 want to flee their current jobs when the economy recovers.  When the “Best dressed moron” gets a job over someone who is better suited to the job, your company loses and good people get disheartened and go jobless.  Your company languishes, destitute while the more qualified, yet un-hired prospect wastes more productive time appealing to the “better natures” of other daft pricks.

Screw you, corporate world.

You want the economy to recover?  Let’s start simple.  Stop looking down on people for what they wear – I’d take a talented hobo dressed in soiled clothing ANY DAY over a well-dressed, but arrogant know-nothing Harvard business grad.  I’d take an artsy, hippie-styled graphic artist in thrift-store clothing who would fit the position better over a suit-and-tie designer with 20 years experience and an excellent resume.  Dress codes encourage conformity – conformity discourages creativity – no creativity = no innovation, growth, or profitable future.

Every business must catch up and realize that shallow, vapid lusting over well-dressed candidates at the expense of better-suited but less fashionable candidates has facilitated our current economic problems.  Until then, we’ll keep on putting our talents to use at more enlightened companies where the hiring managers aren’t shallow, daft pricks.

JobRadio.FM’s “Career Break: Stupid Interview Answers“.  Check it out and see how your interview answers compare.

If you’re lucky enough to be landing interviews, you should also know the answers to some of the deadliest questions you might be asked, so here’s 10 Killer Job Interview Questions and Answers.  If that weren’t enough – here’s ANOTHER TEN!

Haven’t had enough silly numbers posts yet?! Here’s 4 dumb things people do during interviews with a good summary of what makes an answer to an interview question worthwhile or just plain stupid.

If you’re still confused about how to be a smart participant in an interview, check out the Interview section and stay tuned on Friday for a special video on interviews from yours truly!

If you have an interview any time soon, though – you might want to reconsider.

Thanks to a cruel twist of fate, sleep actually plays a heavy role in our perception of the world – including mood, sense of time and space, and worst of all: memory.  And these aren’t just temporary effects.  Skip one night of sleep and your ass is gonna be draggin’ for days afterward.  What’s even worse – people who have been sleep deprived show the same sort of muscle degredation as those who’ve overexerted their muscles in a workout.

Going into an interview with no memory, no sense of time or place, a bad mood, a sore body, and circles under your eyes isn’t exactly starting on the right foot.  Skip the bar, pwn teh newbz later, and catch those missing Z’s.

A BarCamp is based around the idea that the coffee breaks are much more valuable than the actual sessions… and so the “sessions” consist of self-organized coffee breaks to talk about specific subjects.  There are no highly-paid presenters, there are no hoity-toity sales pitches, and there isn’t a lot of free, but useless, swag.

I’m convinced that the idea of attending people-created BarCamps, TweetUps, going to MeetUp.com and finding local business events, and attending unemployed-centric events is the most effective way to network.  Not only do you get to showcase your skills or share ideas with a highly-energetic and tuned-in audience, but you get to rub elbows with people you never even knew existed!

How do you succeed at a BarCamp?  Well – you take business cards… or set up a free Contxts account so you can share them via SMS text message.  Then, you think about things you are knowledgeable about as they relate to the theme of the conference.  At a WineCamp and know something about vintage port?  Write your idea up on the whiteboard and if people like it, they’ll attend.  Having a creative or funny name for your “discussion” is a big help!

Attend other people’s discussions – listen and pitch in! Ask questions, participate!  Don’t go into a BarCamp with the expectation that it’s all about you – it’s about you SHARING your knowledge with other people. It’s true that what you put in will dictate what you get out of it – the more you share, the more people are going to want to talk to you (as long as you’re not a raving idiot).

Most of all, network! Introduce yourself to anyone and everyone who looks or sounds interesting – write down memorable questions and ask if you can e-mail people later.

You never know, you might just be hobnobbing your way to your next job!

With jobs harder to come by than a nudity-free Sasha Cohen appearance, many people have started to ask themselves if they shouldn’t consider a different career.  Maybe even one they don’t have formal training in.

I don’t advocate looking for a job you’re over-experienced for, but there’s no problem aiming for a different career than the one you were formally educated in.  In fact, it’s only natural that over the span of your career, your job interests will shift.  Rob’s question is more focused on what happens when you are trained for construction management, but the only jobs you are able to find are related to your hobbies – things like motorcycle repair.

If you’re trying to go from Civil Engineer to Doctor, I can’t help you.  Otherwise, read on…

The first step is to make sure that the switch will be right for you.  Is the new career something you can commit to doing long-term?  Is it something you have done before or have at least some volunteer experience doing?  Is the learning curve easy enough for you to catch up before your money runs out?

If you answered no to any of those questions, don’t make the switch.  If you can answer yes to all of those questions, it demonstrates that you are passionate about your new career.  Having passion means you’ll be willing to put in the time and the effort to make up for the lack of formal education.  If you’re passionate, you’ll take on internships, do your homework, spend time learning something new every night, and devote yourself to your new career.  Heck, you might even pursue some technical training, if you have the money for it!

The hard truth is, unless you have prior experience or an “in” – someone who can vouch for you and give you a chance, you will likely have to work for free until you prove you have the chops.

The second step is to figure out how you can sell yourself to your employer.  Most employers will look at the education section closely.  Did you go to a reputable university? Do you list your GPA? What was your major? How quickly did you graduate?  Of course, this is under normal circumstances.  In today’s economy, every job opening is met with wheelbarrows full of resumes.  You have to be prepared to be actively and continuously screened out on the basis of your resume alone.  List your qualifications and expertise – making sure to list whatever skills you have which apply to your new career.

Write a specific resume – one that applies to this new career (where perhaps your old resume might not be so effective).

Write a killer cover letter.  People – and this is just one of those human things – love a loser.  Not like, terminal losers, but… the underdog.  The one who’s down and out but fighting to the last to come back.  So, your first choice of career didn’t work out – but it gave you a passion to pursue what really makes you happy.

Dedicate yourself to learning. Find and read as many books as you can. Make yourself an expert in theory, even if you don’t have the practice down yet.

The final step is to find an in.  Network like crazy, find out who the key players are in your new career – people who are local to you, people who you can meet up with for coffee and advice.  Make sure to respect their time and efforts if they agree to meet with you.  Try to make the meeting beneficial for them as well.  A network is a powerful, but sharp, tool.  With just enough direction and pressure, it can carve a path for you.  With too much or too little direction or too much or to little pressure, the blade becomes dull and you go nowhere.

Above all else – never give up.  If you are truly passionate about something, someone will eventually give you the opportunity to prove yourself.

I bet you had to Google avaricious.

Salary this and salary that.  Looking for jobs demonstrates the ridiculousness of some employers’ low-ball expectations of salary.  Worse than that, when they won’t even consider you unless you tell them your exact number.

Whatever, right? It’s a down economy, businesses can afford to treat people like they’re chattel, which makes it all that much more important to find an ethical business to team with.

When will the not-so-ethical/uninformed employers learn that Millennials don’t care as much about what they earn as long as it’s fair?  We want 1) you know what we can do for you and need to 2) know what you can do for us.  This is the question that I hate the most while looking through job listings.  Asking for salary requirements up front is like looking for your soulmate by asking how much they have in the bank.

While the question of salary is damn important, it sure as hell shouldn’t be discussed until the courtship has begun.  Not only does it encourage dishonesty, it also creates a needless negotiation war with low-ball and high-ball offers being slung back and forth. Worse, if the employee hired after this back-and-forth is even half as concerned about the salary as the business is, that employee will be bailing ship for the first greener pasture they see.

Even so, employers continue to ask.

Here’s how I answer the salary question:

1. Be Honest
   
   • If you lie about your previous salaries to your would-be employer, they’ll find out.  Be honest about what you earned and be honest about what you want to earn.  Give good supporting reasons why you are asking for the number you are and be truthful with the company if their expectations are too low.
2. Do Your Homework
   
   • If you know that an entry-level marketer makes between $40-55K depending on their specialties, don’t demand $70,000 without a damn good reason.  You can also use that average to know when you’re being squeezed too tightly – $35K is not a fair salary for that job.
3. Give a Range
   
   • Give a range of salaries.  You’ll have a lot of wiggle room when it comes to salary negotiation.  Once inside this range, though, don’t attempt to go outside of it unless something HUGE changes during the negotiation.

Salary Negotiation 101

• Do the research to find out the salary range of your website.  Do a Google Search!  PayScale.com has great salary info, but find a variety of sources.
• Ideally, the range you give should span about $10K and not have your goal salary in the middle.
• The minimum should be the lowest amount you could acceptably take and live on.  This number should be greater than or equal to the low-end of the average salary for the position.
• The maximum should be within $10-15K of the minimum, but still less than or equal to the high-end of the average salary for the position.
• Your goal salary is the number that you really want to make. It should be close to your minimum plus $3-4K.  This puts your Goal at the lower end (30-40%) of the range you provided, making it more likely you’ll get your goal salary or more.

Let’s say the job you’re applying for has a salary range of $40-55K.

In this example, citing $42-52K means that you hope to get at least $45K.  Anything above that would be a bonus to you, but still leaves a good 7K to move.

If the company comes back with a counter-offer of less than $42K (known as low-balling), you should laugh or at least ask them if they’re trying to low-ball you.  If the company came back with a counter-offer of $42K, however, and you then asked for $52K (known as high-balling), you’d be out of line.

Remember that it’s okay to negotiate for anything.  More time off, starting with a bank of time off, etc.  Just know that if you take a bonus, more vacation, or anything in lieu of salary, your earning potential ends up smaller.

Times are tough and jobs are sparse.

There seems to be two distinct lines of thought about what the unemployed should do.

One line of thought says, “The Spice Must Flow” – in other words, go out and get any job you can that will keep the roof over your head and food on the table.

Another line of thought says, “Every Person Has A Calling” – that is, you should get a job you like since that’s the job you’ll be best at.

My personal thought on this is that if you take on a job you don’t like, even if it pays well, you’re going to bring yourself and the company a whole lot of hurt.

First, the company has to pay to establish your benefits – and they have to pay for a month after you leave.  More than that, if you qualify and participate in COBRA (a program to continue your benefits after you’ve been laid off/leave the company) the company will pay for a portion of those benefits or at least partially share in the cost increase for any healthcare you receive (in later years).

Second, the company has to pay the costs to train you.  This is time and productivity lost on their part – especially if you don’t like the job or take longer to train for a position that could have been better acclimated to than someone else.

Finally, lets say you are completely bored with your job and end up working only 90% as hard as you could have.  The company is losing that productivity from you – you’re, in essence, cheating the company because you chose poorly.  Even if you swear that you’re going to do the job, do your best, give 100% – you’re eventually going to slip.

Not to mention, if you’re dissatisfied with the main task you’re responsible for, you’re more likely to make mistakes and less likely to correct mistakes when you make them.  Middle school dance lessons, anyone?  We’re not a nation of ballroom or square dancers.

You might feel differently when you have to buy ramen noodles rather than the spaghetti noodles at the grocery store, but you will most definitely like your job and be happier with your life.

When Degree Is a Detriment

The current job market is certainly a pothole in the highway that is my life, and apparently, a large percentage of my generation travels the same intersection. Big, enormous pothole, and it took forever for the big orange warning sign to actually pop up. And – well – my bad decision to speed through that pothole happened before I noticed the warning sign.

I quit my job as an instructional designer at the Texas Tech University Health Sciences Center nearly a year ago. I didn’t enjoy the position, didn’t feel qualified to do it, and I have the millennial generation’s idealistic desire to have a fulfilling and satisfying career. When I turned in my two weeks’ notice, I did so on decent terms.

My glorious plan was to do freelance technical writing while pursuing a writing career of my own. I put together a non-fiction book proposal with three sample chapters, submitted the package to literary agents, and signed with one. Then the economy imploded. At the same time, I discovered that my chosen agent had a very different vision for my writing career than I did – but it didn’t matter which vision we went with, because in the face of the recession publishing companies were loathe to take risks on new authors.

So, in the midst of a recession, I hit the job market like everyone else. I knew I would have trouble, but I knew I’d be in good company. I’m determined, tenacious, and I have software skills, along with a couple of degrees. While my MA and BA are both in history, which is not exactly pertinent to most professions, I assumed their presence on my resume would indicate a certain amount of ambition and drive, essential characteristics for success in any workplace. Plus, all of my work experience is wrapped up in those degrees – my entire working career has been at universities, and the positions have been related to my degrees.

I have never been so wrong in my life. This job hunting experience has been eye-opening, to say the least. I have absolutely no snobbery regarding work. Yes, someday I would like to have that fulfilling career I mentioned. But when push comes to shove and I’ve got to find food and shelter, I’ll do almost anything, with a smile on my face. I applied to everything I could find – from retail to medical offices, from technical writing to telemarketing.

The first place to call me for an interview was Starbucks. Even though it pays just slightly above minimum wage, an hourly position with Starbucks comes with decent insurance, and I’m friendly, I like working in customer service. I also liked the idea of learning how to make their awesome pastries (although I tried not to think about the ensuing potential weight gain). I was excited. Somehow, the idea of trying to further my writing career at home meshed well in my head with working at a coffee shop.

When I arrived at the interview, I wore what I’ve always worn to job interviews – a suit. First mistake. I realized a suit was overkill for an interview at Starbucks as soon as I walked in the door. But the interviewing manager was really nice and friendly, and she offered me some coffee, so I was hopeful, despite being terribly overdressed.

Then she opened her mouth for the first official question: “So, I had to call you in for an interview, out of curiosity. Why did you apply to be a barista? It’s not like I can hire you. You have a master’s degree.”

I stared at the interviewer in disbelief. “Um…why can’t you hire me? I know what the pay is.”

She said, “It doesn’t really matter. I mean, are you looking to pursue a career in management, or what? This store doesn’t need anyone in management.”

Long story short, I spent the remainder of this “curious” interview trying to convince her that I didn’t want to steal her job, wasn’t a know-it-all, and sincerely wanted to learn how to do a barista job. Didn’t matter; she had already made up her mind before I got there. I was so disappointed, and, really, I was hurt. Why would someone do that? Call me up and “interview” me just to satisfy personal curiosity – how cruel.

I chalked it up to experience, vowed never to purchase anything from Starbucks again, and refused to brood about it. A few weeks later, I got a call from World Market for a scheduled “group interview”. I had never heard of such a thing, but it sounded interesting, and I do love World Market. I figured I’d be an excellent employee there, probably spending half my paycheck on their wares.

The group interview was odd, to say the least, but I felt like I navigated it fairly well. There were 7 of us, ranging in age from 16 to mid-thirties, and the interviewing manager randomly fired questions at each of us. Then she took each of us aside for a brief private interview. She chose me first. I was nervous, but I was also excited. I though I actually had a shot at this position. I was crushed when the first words out of her mouth were “I had to interview you because I’m curious.” Indeed, curiosity ruined my day. I remained perky and sincere in the interview, even though she, too, echoed the Starbucks interview almost word for word.

Now, nine months older, and slightly wiser, I’ve realized that desperate times call for desperate measures, and I’ve had an epiphany: when applying for a job below your education level, no experience and no education is superior to being over-educated and over-qualified. I actually have a better chance leaving all of my work experience and education off my resume entirely. But what to do then? How to explain the unemployment?

There are two realistic options that make you sound like a responsible human being that might be a good employee. Option 1: pick a relative, any relative, and explain that he or she has some grave illness and you’ve been taking care of him or her for several years. Nothing unusual – maybe heart trouble, mild stroke, etc. Option 2: illustrate your entrepreneurial spirit and describe your efforts at self-employment. Use my sad story as your own – I mean, everyone can at least pretend they want to be a writer. I actually do, but it’s a believable story from anyone. You wanted to write your memoirs, your grandmother’s memoirs, the next great literary novel…or you had some invention that was going to change the way we use post-it notes but somehow it didn’t catch on. Whatever works. Software development startup companies are all the rage now – if you’re a techie, do that.

Potential employers don’t check the IRS’s records for employment (unless you’re applying for some sort of government position, and then they just might) so you don’t have to worry about getting “caught.”

I never thought I would endorse lying to look less qualified. But the tide has turned, and I’ve seen the light. I need to look like more of an idiot if I’m ever to find and secure a regular job.