Interviews

How hard can it be to get someone to like you?

Think about the scariest, most awkward date you have ever been on.  Now, multiply this by $55,000.

You now have the standard job interview.  Millennials – I’m looking at you – this is a tough, tough job market you’re entering.  And there’s a lot of ageist bullsh!t going against you.

It is a terrifying experience.  But you can get through it.  It basically amounts to four things.

The tease, first contact, in flagrante delicto (the act itself), and the morning after.

There are only a few things as terrifying as your first interview.  And like they say, the best way to know what you’re good at is practice, practice, practice.

Am I hinting at something here?  Absolutely not.  So let’s move on; it’s time for “the talk“.

The Tease

We’ve talked about using your portfolio, resume and cover letter as your “you want me bad” packet.  Well, this is basically your “tease”.  But, just like any decent courtship, you can’t just run around handing out your phone number.  You have to woo ‘em.

Once you’ve sent your “you want me bad” packet, you should follow up with a phone call or an e-mail about one week later.  Re-iterate that you are still interested in the position if it is available and ask for an interview, again.  If you still haven’t heard back after a week, send one more phone call or e-mail and ask, yet again, for an interview.  This is it.  If they’re not interested at this point, it wasn’t meant to be.

Remember – they need you much more than you need them!

Some people just don’t appreciate your awesomeness (first contact)

But lets say that you do hear back.  This will usually happen once in every ten attempts (just like real life, right?)

What happens next?  Generally a phone interview – you’ll either get called or e-mailed… so you should thank the interviewer for their interest in you.  You’ll probably get some questions about what kind of person you are, what your interests are… or maybe you’ll just be asked when you can come in for a face-to-face interview.

Be careful – do not overextend yourself.  You’re a business professional, not some floozy from Scranton, right?  Every answer you give should somehow be related to a positive professional trait… what were you doing when they called?  “Oh, just organizing my office,” you say.  Never mind that it was dirty… or how it got so dirty.  Not important, perv.  Of course, you might get the occasional curve-ball question, so be sure to check out Tough Interview Questions.

If you successfully navigate the rejection-shark-infested waters of the pre-interview interview, you will be asked for an actual interview.  This is your signal that things are getting serious with your “new friend”.

Going all the way: in flagrante delicto (the act itself)

There it is.  Everything you could ever ask for.

A paycheck so large you could buy all manner of happiness. (Well, hopefully you aren’t that superficial, you know – and actually applied for a job where the work will be meaningful.  But to each, their own.)

But, if you’re here – that is, if you’ve landed the interview, it only means that you have successfully convinced the other party that you are both here for the same thing.

A meaningful, long-term relationship, right?  Okay, maybe one with benefits.  You’re no saint.

Landing the face-to-face interview doesn’t mean you’ve sealed the deal, that you can let your guard down, or that you can proceed to show your soon-to-be-employer the real creeper that you are.

In fact, if you’re not on top of your game here, you can pretty much kiss all those benefits goodbye.

Check out Interview Basics to learn some tips for success and check out Tough Interview Questions to figure out how to answer the scariest of the interview questions you may face.

This can be a long process – the real goal here is to find out your core competencies and to see what you are like face-to-face.  I mean, they’re going to be giving you quite a lot of money just to see you in the place for eight hours at a time, five days out of the week.  They kind of have to like you… or at least like what you can do, even if you’re an insufferable sonofabitch.

At the end of your interview, make sure you know the plan moving forward.  Will there be another round of interviews?  When should you hear from them?  Is there anything else they need from you to make the process go easier?

Be sure to thank your interviewer for the time they have given you, shake their hands firmly, and express your desire to hear from them soon.  Only you are a good judge of how you did on the interview, but nothing is certain.

I have been offered jobs where I thought my interview went about as well as the Clinton Impeachment Hearings.  “Yes, ah, could you define the word IS, please?”  I’ve also been rejected from jobs where I was certain I was the best candidate…

Rejection at this phase hurts – more so than any other phase, because it means that despite all the time and effort that you have invested, you’re not going to be getting anything back for it.  So I say, screw ‘em.  But screw ‘em with a smile – thank them for the interview, express your interest to keep in touch and ask them to keep you in mind if any additional positions open up.  Keep checking in every so often and you might just find an in, eventually.

Trust your instincts during the interview.  If you sense that the workers there are unhappy, that the people you would be working with or under are jerks, or that the company in general reflects a culture which would not be suited to your Rock-n-Roll lifestyle, walk away.  Don’t even consider it.  You’ll be miserable and job-hunting within 3 months.

The Morning After

Immediately preceding your interview – any part of the interview – you should write an e-mail or a letter that day, or even a phone call the next day or later that afternoon – you can even leave a message after business hours, this is okay.  You need to thank your interviewer for a great interview and re-express your interest in hearing from them soon.  Make sure you remember your interviewers’ names.  I mean, it’s only classy to call the next day.  It’s even classier to remember their names.

If they tell me that they were going to contact me and they haven’t, which does happen – I usually consider one week the acceptable time of contact, that is – one week after the interview.  If you’re past that… for example, if they tell you that they’ll call you back in two weeks, and you haven’t heard – it’s very acceptable to call them the day after the day that they said they would contact you.

The one thing that is universally true is that you need to practice your interview skills.  If you don’t practice them, they go stale, fast.  In this regard, it is not like riding a bike.  It doesn’t just come back to you – you have to work hard and earn your skills back each time you forget them.  It’s not easy, but it is easy to keep them fresh by practicing even when you think you don’t need to.

Let’s say you landed the job – congrats! But wait – you’re just getting started.  Literally.  You have salary negotiations to look forward to.