Emotional Intelligence

Like your IQ, but less snobbish…

You might not have ever heard the term “emotional intelligence” before. But you’ve definitely seen it in action.

Do you remember the time your bratty little sister stole your favorite Barbies and wouldn’t give ‘em back? How about that time you watched the hapless parents purchase Happy Meal after Happy Meal so their crying, annoying six year-old could have the other useless piece of plastic? Or Friday last week when your annoying co-worker programmer just couldn’t understand why you didn’t want to spend your weekend sifting through his reports to find the errors?

Yup. You guessed it. Besides being real-life case studies on the benefits of contraceptives, these people lack emotional intelligence.

More than that, though, emotional intelligence has two parts: empathy – awareness of others’ emotions, and self-discipline – in the form of awareness and control of your own emotions. People with high emotional intelligence tend to be good at both.

Think about the people you know in your life. How many can read you like a book? How many can keep their cool no matter what bad things are happening? How many can do both and make you wish you were just like them? That’s the value of emotional intelligence.

People who know how to play the social games we live through every day at work generally enjoy more success. Notice that your boss is overloaded or having a bad day and you can bet you’ll get extra points for bringing by a cookie or offering to take on extra work to complete a deadlocked project.

Of course, it works the other way around – by shielding your own emotions from other people (at least, the most obvious ones), you’re retaining power. You’re not giving away information that could potentially hold you back. Even better, by refraining to throw that temper-tantrum after being passed over for a raise or a promotion, you might retain your position as next in line. And anyway, nobody likes being asked “What’s wrong?” sixteen thousand times a day.

Unlike IQ, emotional intelligence is something you can learn through practice. Preparing yourself to endure emotional hardships and training yourself to notice when other people’s emotions might interfere with your goals and objectives can only work in your favor. Seek out emotional intelligence in other people and you’ll make stronger friendships; cultivate it in people who look up to you and you’ll build stronger followers. Look for it in employers before you take on a job you might eventually hate.

Learn to recognize the symptoms of a low emotional intelligence and avoid the people who show ‘em and your life will feature much less drama!