Walking across the stage with that fancy square hat causes new graduates to forget that it’s not what you know, but who you know.  Maybe more importantly, it’s who knows YOU.

Today’s job market blows balls. Only 20% of 2009’s grads applying for jobs are getting them, and a quarter of new hires have an “in”.  It pays to know someone who can open doors for you.

Millennials cringe when approached with the idea of finding a mentor.  In general, we equate mentors with “life coaches” – snake-oil selling hacks who like to show off just how stupid they are by imparting “wisdom” to others.  Or maybe even to good old mom and dad who always seemed to have a never-ending supply of “things we should do” to be better.

No thanks.

Mentors – real mentors – aren’t like that.  They can be your saving grace – if you find a good one.  A good mentor:

• Is willing to share their time with you on a regular basis (or as often as possible)
• Does not try to sell you anything or try to use you as an unpaid intern
• Solicits your opinion and actually listens when you voice one
• Asks questions that make you think about things you care about
• Will introduce you to their contacts if the link will be beneficial
• Has just as much respect for your time as you do for theirs

Assuming you have some idea of what you’d like to do with your life, you probably know who the “head hanchos” are in that field.  If you don’t know, do a little research with a Google Search or Twitter.  In fact – you should identify *anyone* you find interesting in your field.  Having friends who do the same thing you want to do always helps!

If you find someone local, ask them to meet you for coffee or for lunch.  Otherwise, a quick note to ask if you can pick their brain for 15 minutes on the phone will do.  Come prepared to these meetings with 1) your resume and business card, 2) a list of questions – not stuff you can find online or by digging for 5 minutes, but real in-depth questions that demonstrate your knowledge of the field you want to go into, and 3) a good sense of humor and willingness to learn.  When your 15 minutes is up, thank your new mentor and ask for another meeting at a specific date in the future, or at least to stay in contact.

A quick word of warning – you have to work to avoid hucksters on Twitter, so look for people who have @ replies in their stream rather than just endless posts of links, people who aren’t trying to sell you something, and people who answer you when you ask questions (really difficult if your heroes are as popular as Leo Laporte).  Also, avoid wasting people’s time.  Show up on time to meetings, don’t ask stupid (easy to look-up questions) and be willing to learn!