…The Lunatics are in My Head
Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. It only makes sense that we should try to be like the people we like -- and it’s fair to suspect that the biggest jerk has some redeeming qualities, too. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, some people just stick in your brain like a cat to a cat-nip sweater.
Figuring out what you like and dislike about heroes, evil geniuses, and all those cats in your brain can make the difference between success or failure in your personal projects. Not only do you get to try out a new facet of the human experience, you can also discover a hidden talent you never knew you had!
Here are some of my favorite motivators -- with links to their websites. (for your convenience I’ve labeled them as good or evil):
- Bob Parsons (EVIL GENIUS)
- Bob Parsons is a 9.9 on the evil Richter. Anyone who can amass the forces of Danica Patrick and the countless other gorgeous women, somehow trick them all into wearing skimpy clothing, and create ads which are systematically censored from every SuperBowl (while still incurring the full 30-second cost of the ad) and still build a rampantly successful business is a freakin’ evil genius. If I had half the talent of this guy… well, I wouldn’t be doing this, now would I? I absolutely love Bob’s 16 rules -- and you can even order a poster of them.
- Leo Laporte (EVIL GENIUS)
- I’ve followed Leo Laporte from his early days on ZDTV and TechTV… and now he’s freaking everywhere. He’s the VD of podcasting that you’re strangely proud to catch. I really don’t understand how he makes a living, but he’s somehow got me planning to sponsor his shows at $5 a month. Does it matter that his shows are ridiculously entertaining? Does it matter that I can’t stop listening to them or rocking like some crazy crack addict waiting for a fix every time he releases a new show? Nah. The guy has it down to a science and has a lot of good things to say.
- William Shatner (EVIL GENIUS)
- Ok, so… maybe all the people on my list are evil geniuses. But can you honestly think of anyone who has gone away, come back, gone away, come back, and then sold you airline tickets more in the last 30 years? How about the last 50? He was the freakin captain of the Starship Enterprise, for god’s sake. The man is a legend -- he created one of the most immutable figures to enter the collective consciousness of society. And I’m not even talking about Denny Crane! Seriously, William Shatner is a great place to look for inspiration of all kinds -- and if you don’t feel inspired yet, you should go pick up one of his albums. Then you’ll know what inspiration really is.
So why did I pick these three? I don’t know. For some reason, they’re the three that have stuck out in my head as people who actually are in business and “doing good”, even if they are evil geniuses. And they’re even helping people while they’re at it. List out a few of your own hero/evil genius types -- see who you come up with. Share ‘em here if you feel so compelled!
Er…uhm, and just for your… viewing “pleasure”, here’s William Shatner’s rendition of Rocket Man.
Reorganize your office space. I recently did this, and boy what a difference does it make. Let me make it a bit clearer with a picture. Before, my desk was all the way up against that wall -- and I have a co-worker in the next office who occasionally stares out into space -- through that window. Needless to say, if you think you’re being watched 24/7, you’re not going to get much work done. So, rather than stick my tongue out all day and make random faces, which worked for the first day or so, I can now happily enjoy my own work space without feeling distracted.
How Not To Ask For Help
But, damnit, if it isn’t just so freakin arrogant when you make CARS for a living, to fly in a big fancy private jet, dress up in your best Sunday clothes, and ask the Government for a small percentage of 250 Million + people’s money.
Honestly, who the hell do you think you are?
These days it seems like anyone can ask for a bit of the continuously-expanding pie. Next up – mom and pop shops looking to beat down on the less-savory aunt and uncle stores. But for now, let’s just take a look at what the difference is between Big Auto and Big Banking.
Big Banking asked for a handout. That is, we the people will likely never see our money again.
Big Auto asked for “operating revenue”. This could be taken to mean any number of different things, but where I come from it means “buy our preferred stock”. Now, preferred stock investments would net the taxpayers interest when Big Auto eventually pulls off their miracle. We, the people, would eventually get to see our money again. Well, the Government will see it, but that’s better than nothing.
In my eyes, Big Auto execs, while stupidly flying their private jets to ask for the money, are much less evil than the big bankers. Flying a private jet to ask congress for money is simply much less stupid than receiving your bailout money and then partying on the taxpayer’s dime – Ahem, AIG…
Although, to be fair, AIG’s CEO is now taking a $1 salary for the year to come, and no separation bonus (except for equity grants…). In addition, the top 50 execs are receiving no bonuses or raises for 2009. Granted, I think they might have realized that if they didn’t do something big, the average Joes they insure might have risen up and slain them.
I think we’re all accustomed to a greedy Wall Street, and to be fair – there are some very smart, compassionate people hidden in the ranks of those greedy suits. For example, the guy who snuck in the provision for the government to have the option to buy preferred stock from the banks rather than just shovel over some money. Big Bank lobbyists DID NOT want that to even be an option. How greedy! How stupid.
Simply put – the golden rule should always be in effect for every business person. If it had been, the high-powered jerks at Enron wouldn’t have felt like it was ok to steal Granny’s retirement. Unless they were… you know, sadists. They like that sort of thing. Granny doesn’t tho. So treat everybody like you want to be treated, and maybe businesspeople won’t have such a bad rap. In the words of Captain Plannet… or maybe Captain Kirk… “it’s all in your hands now”.