We’re going to do something new here on Psychotic Resumes – one of my good friends Brittany Rehling is incredibly funny.  Not only that, but she has amazing job search stories to tell… so I’m giving her a regular spot here on Psychotic Resumes called “Journal of a Job Hunter“.  You can keep track of it here.  Enjoy!

Ah, job hunting. Hunting season is year round, but jobs are bred during times of economic upturn. Currently we are on the hunt for a somewhat endangered species, now is the time to invest in the long sought after periscopes & satellite guided ammunition, and to reacquaint yourself with your night vision goggles. It’s a jungle out there, and the prey is scarce. This is a winner takes all , each man for himself war zone. Happy hunting.

Game on.

I found myself on the job hunt following a lay off from a home builder that had filed for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy and then ultimately closed their doors. The layoff wasn’t a shock; just the timing was a bit unexpected. In fact the day I was laid off I hyperventilated in my former boss’s office, and then my brother gave me the advice to “take everything that isn’t nailed down to the ground on your way out the door”. Lucky for him I didn’t follow his advice and there are no restraining orders filed against me in the state of Colorado.

The afternoon of my layoff I found myself in the office of a financial company that a personal friend works for talking about a Financial Advisor position. I explained the newness of my layoff (and the vulnerability I was facing at having no paycheck 14 days from now – read: time to hyperventilate again). Matt explained the job that I would be working on commission to sell financial products. Now, those are not the words he used. He used about 1000 other words to make it sound like a lot better idea than it really was.

Side note, I’m 24 and graduated one year earlier with a degree in Business Admin in Marketing and Political Science.

Me a financial advisor? I think that it is important to be educated about your personal finances, but I was having doubts on my ability to educate others on financial advice for their future. I’m 24! Who’s going to take financial advice from me?!?! Now I have no doubt that I can sell things, but I think things that I could successfully peddle include beer, or t-shirts, or puppies, not 401-K’s and investments. In fact I have my own 401-K that I just rolled over to an IRA, but I don’t actually know what any of those letters stand for! Not to mention the fact that I am getting paid only on commission. I’m a little too obsessed with my own budget to allow for the ambiguity of commission. What if I don’t make any commission one month? I need to pay bills. I like driving my car, and I like eating food, and I have a fat cat that likes to eat food also. I tried putting her on a diet once, and I got bit. A lot. She’s happy being fat, and I like not getting bit, so I am in no position to want to restrict her of food again. She means blood.

After several interviews, one of which I had to come up with a list of 500 people I knew and how they could help me with my career, I realized that I would be the friend and family member that people would come to hate. They would buy stuff from me just to quiet me down for the Thanksgiving dinner, and secretly they would all despise me, and pretty soon I would get no call to come to Christmas. It was too sad to think about, so I moved on to other avenues….